Remaining calm among the idiots

Believe it or not, I am not a calm, cool, even-keeled person all the time.

I think I’m better than a lot of people at keeping a hold on my emotions, especially when I’m upset about something.

There are a couple of ways I try to stay calm in different situations.

If I’m driving and another driver comes up fast behind me, swings into the other lane (without signalling), races by me and then immediately comes back into my lane (again without signalling), I now have a calm and sensible way of examining the situation and assessing the other driver.

They obviously don’t know how to read speed limit signs, or they wouldn’t be speeding. Given that lack of basic intelligence, is it a surprise they don’t know how to operate a turn signal on their vehicle when they wish to change lanes? No, it isn’t, and so I can continue driving serenely, knowing the other driver is an idiot (especially because after racing by me that way, they then turn at the next corner, thereby saving themselves a whole three seconds).

If my life is ever so poorly organized that I can’t afford to take three extra seconds to drive intelligently, something has gone horribly wrong.

The other group of people I find myself coming up with a simple assessment of are many of those who send in text messages to sports commentaries on the BBC website. As I have mentioned a number of times in my column, I enjoy following sports events in the text commentary on the BBC site.

They do, however, print a lot of text messages which don’t have a name. Many of these comments can be summed up as, “I have watched the first five minutes of this game and believe the manager of Team A should be fired immediately. As well, half of the players they currently have out there should be replaced immediately. For coming up with this brilliant suggestion, I expect to be given a free, lifetime ticket to all sporting events covered by the BBC, as well as transportation and accommodation”.

What I read into these comments, signed “Anon.”, is that if the person sending in the comments can’t even remember their own name to attach to the message, I’m not sure how much credence I should give their views.

If nothing else, their apparent wish for a lifetime pass to all sporting events covered by the BBC will be difficult to fulfil, given the BBC doesn’t even have their name.