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Lost in translation … or Edmonton

I wasn’t in the city this past weekend, but I had a good excuse. I was in St. Albert, just outside of Edmonton, for my nephew’s wedding.

Since he’s my third nephew and the third to get married, that pretty well means I won’t be heading back that way for a wedding any time soon.

The wedding was great. The bride was lovely, the groom was handsome. And at the reception, the food was great and the speeches were short. All in all a great few days.

There was, however, one other event that turned into an adventure for me. I am referring, of course, to my Trip to the Mall.

No, not THAT mall in Edmonton. This was a walk to a mall near my sister and brother-in-law’s house, where Mom and I were staying. I decided Friday morning that I needed some exercise, so I got directions from my sister, making sure I put them carefully into the notepad app on my cellphone.

I set off, taking the walkway she had indicated through a beautiful park-like setting and eventually coming out on one of the main roads. I wasn’t sure how many paths there were, so I decided to look for a landmark so I knew when I had reached my path on the way back.

At first I thought I would do the easy thing and note what street I crossed first on my way to the mall. Then I remembered all the streets in this subdivision started with the letter E. That would make things more difficult, since I knew I would be looking at all the street signs as I went, and trying to remember which E-name was which would be tricky.

Then I saw a sandwich board noting that Telus was installing some new kind of fibre in the area. Aha!, I thought, that’s perfect.

Until I saw another sandwich board a block away. And another one a block beyond that.

I decided to trust in luck, and made my way to the mall, finishing with a slight dip in the road to get there.

I did my shopping, left the mall, and found out that slight dip coming had been replaced by a looming precipice on the return trip (Editor’s Note: I have my doubts about this), but I pressed on.

Soon, a torrential rain began to pummel me. (Editor’s Note: I called a friend of mine from Edmonton. It was about 10 minutes of light rain.) I continued, undaunted, and eventually found myself having to decide if I had reached the right path to get back home.

Then I saw the super mailbox sitting right across the sidewalk from the pathway and remembered seeing the same mailbox on the way to the mall.

So I turned there and eventually found my way home – and nicely in time for lunch, with a tale of high adventure to recount. (Editor’s Note: None of his relatives believed a word of it. They know him too well.)