Getting old ain’t for the faint of heart

I must be getting old because I found this old column, realized that it’s been five years since I wrote it, and that not much has changed except, well, I’m five years older.

When my father got up in years and needed some care he used to quip: “This getting old business isn’t for the faint of heart.”

Getting older happens to us all, but sometimes we just don’t recognize the signs. So, in case you haven’t noticed that you’re getting older, here’s some sure signs:

You’ve been singing “hope I die before I get old,” for 40 years.

  • You realize that both the Beatles and the Rolling Stones broke onto the music scene 50 years ago, which isn’t really a sign that you’re getting old unless you can remember it. Kudos to the Stones who are doing a few 50th anniversary gigs, minus 76-year-old Bill Wyman who is touring with his own band and Paul McCartney who is also on tour with Bruce Springsteen. Just because you’re old doesn’t mean you’re done.
  • Classic rock … rocks because you know the words to all the songs. Yes, that’s the music that your parents told you was nothing but screaming … and, they hadn’t even heard about rap or hip-hop.
  • Your old high school has been turned into upscale condo units. Yep, that’s me and the penthouse apparently went for $900,000. Kicking myself for not buying the old post-war house next to the high school for $8,000 back when I was … well, not as wise as I am today.
  • Your high school reunion party could be held in an upscale condo, except, of course, for the fact it’s on the top floor.
  • Getting scoped takes on a whole new meaning.
  • You go to a job interview and ask more questions about the extended health benefits than what you’re actually going to be doing.
  • You start thinking grey hair looks distinguished.
  • You remember first version of Trudeaumania.
  • You remember when the NHL was about playing hockey.
  • You remember when there was only one hockey game on television … per week. It was on Saturday night and the only time you got to seek the Canucks was when they were either playing Toronto or Montreal.
  • You remember when 19-inch televisions were standard and 24-inch screens were big.
  • You remember when MacPlus was the coolest thing in computing.
  • You remember when payphones used to be everywhere.
  • You remember when payphones only cost a dime.
  • You remember having to go through an operator every time you made a call.
  • Your first cell phone weighed more than your current desktop computer.
  • Your Facebook profile doesn’t have your actual birth date listed.
  • You starting thinking about things that make you feel old.